A real marquis, if that's what you be,
would know a lot better than that.
He would not assume, he'd be careful whom
he pointed his finger at!

If I am your maid, please explain, ha, ha, ha...
why this hand is not dishwater plain, ha, ha, ha!
Size two sir, and no bigger. What housemaid has this figure?
I figure she's a pig, (your chambermaid, not me!)
Go figure what a pig might her employer be!

You made a doozie, and in fact, you lack discretion, class and tact!
How observant ha, ha, ha! Me, a servant? Ha, ha, ha!
Very funny, ha, ha, ha...on the money, ha, ha, ha...!

Look at me and pause, I'm a Grecian vase!
Could nature have been more kind?
Such a mouth as this, pouting for a kiss.
A body for bliss to find!
Look closely at me and regret, ha, ha, ha! The girl in your dreams you won't get, ha, ha, ha!
The vodka, I do worry, has made your vision blurry.
She broke your little heart, some silly lady's maid?
I wonder - was your wife aware of this charade?
The maid got wiser, after all. She took your heart, you'll take the fall!
How observant ha, ha, ha! Me, a servant? Ha, ha, ha!
Very funny, ha, ha, ha...on the money, ha!